


Some things can't be helped

by yamaneko19xx



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Anal Sex, Canon Disabled Character, Love/Hate, M/M, Oral Sex, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 13:31:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5745682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamaneko19xx/pseuds/yamaneko19xx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaz watches Quiet saving the boy's necklace and Snake carrying her on his arms. He is left with his heart broken and having to deal with the man he hates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some things can't be helped

**Author's Note:**

> I watched the cutscene of Quiet saving the boy's necklace and thought how unfair it was for Kaz, so I came up with this...

Kaz glanced at the chambers where the necklace had been thrown to. The tank at the bottom was filled with chlorine disinfectant. As Ocelot pointed out earlier, one whiff and you’d suffocate.

“Hey! Listen to me!” Ocelot grabbed Snake by his shoulders and pushed him backwards.

Kaz watched Ocelot struggling with the Boss. Would Snake sacrifice himself for that freak? Would he throw away everything they’ve built together? After 9 years of waiting, suffering, crying and working so hard on keeping himself together, Kaz could finally begin to see light at the end of the tunel, his next stop had to be revenge. He had to avenge his comrades, and he had to avenge who he and Snake once were.  
Yes, back on MSF days, they did had a fling, they never named what they had but their relationship was far from a simple friendship. Kaz couldn’t stand this now, this cold and oblivious Snake who seemed to remember almost nothing of their nights together.

This Snake, who in a hot headed rush would just be willing to screw their revenge and throw himself to an inevitable death just to save a cipher agent. Kaz heart could not break any longer than this.

  
“There’s no way to recover the body” Ocelot continued.  
He couldn’t stand seeing the pain in Snake’s face when Ocelot delivered the bad news. It was similar to what Kaz himself was feeling now… Sadness, anger, but with the extra addition of jealousy at his unrequited love. He knew this was all a show, she wasn’t dead. He could sense her clearly, so walked away from Snake and got closer to the baranda.

How could everyone be so blind? Wasn’t he the one with eyesight issues? Why they couldn’t see the skull woman as he could? He could sense her, see her like no one did. No, she couldn’t escape from him, he could even see her when Snake couldn’t, no matter how strong Quiet and Snake's bond was. Kaz saw her, at least on the outside. But her inside, her feelings were something the Commander had no intentions of knowing.

If only she could just die already…. No matter how valuable her skills were, as long as they had Snake, nothing else mattered.

“What kind of stunt was that? Trying to panic us…” He growled and turned his back on her.

Quiet appeared, climbing back on top and the children ran at her. Snake rushed and moved them away from her, holding her in his arms himself. Her body was damaged, but Kaz knew that she was far from dying.

Ocelot stood next to Kaz and they both watched the scene. The person they most loved in the world, the object of their desires and obsession, was holding the woman whom he had a strong bond with, and who knows what else lingered.  
Snake said nothing and left, carrying her in his arms. He was mad, Kaz could tell, but his blue eye had a spark that Kaz knew perfectly well.

He was looking at her the same way he looked at him back then at Costa Rica, when they would have sex.

Kaz looked down at the necklace and poked it with his crutch to confirm it was safe. Ocelot crouched next to him and took it.

“Look” he smiled faintly while standing up and handing the necklace to the kid.  
Then he placed a hand on his small shoulder and walked away with him.

 

  
The sound of the chopper died as its engine turned off. Kaz could hear Pequod chatting with one of the soldiers who had just been here witnessing the necklace incident. They both left to their chambers.

Kaz was left alone with his feelings. He got closer to the chambers and watched the chlorine gas huffing on the bottom.

What if he just let himself fall and get over this? Would Snake miss him? Was he really that tired tonight that he was having these suicidal thoughts? He took a coin out of his coat’s pocket and tossed it. He heard the clank sound echoing and extended his hand past the baranda. With that movement, his crutch fell to the floor and before he could react, he saw two hands with red gloves holding him by his waist and his body pushed against him.

 

“Feeling suicidal, Commander? Want me to push you? I can help you go to hell quicker.”  
Kaz felt Ocelot pinning him to the edge, grinding his crotch against his butt. Kaz couldn’t help but releasing a soft moan.

“No one is going to rescue you Miller. The Boss has long gone to his chambers, or probably he went to Quiet’s.” He felt his low and husky voice humming on his ear.

“Get the fuck away from me Ocelot.”  
Kaz shifted his body and moved away from the russian, leaning on the baranda.

Ocelot smirked and took the crutch, passed it to Kaz and started to walk away. Kaz followed him and began attacking him. He knew it was not fair but he was so upset that he needed to take it off him.

“Why did you come back? Aren’t your quarters just the opposite way?” Ocelot continued to ignore him, but walked slowly so Kaz could keep up his pace. “Or did you also wondered if someone else would go to your rescue if you fell down?”

 

Now Ocelot stopped and turned to face Kaz.

“Big Boss is not going to rescue you either. I’m sure he’s banging Quiet at this moment.” Kaz smirked while he shot his venom at the older man. “He doesn’t need you Ocelot, you have my permission to go and kill yourself.”

Ocelot grabbed Kaz and pushed him into a dark corner of the Platform. He grabbed his neck and grip him, watching how the commander struggled to get free. “He doesn’t need you either, Miller, so if I kill you right now I can say that you were stupid enough to trip and fall into the chlorine tank. No way to recover your body. I’d just throw you to the sea.”

Kaz grabbed his hand and tried to make him release him but he started to feel dizzy and his strength was drained. Defeated, he relaxed his body and closed his eyes. After all, why not? He could just end to exist and his broken heart would not hurt anymore. The feeling of being numb, forever.

Ocelot released him and Kaz fell on his knees to the floor, coughing.

“It’s easier to be killed than to kill yourself. Stop with your show, we both know you don’t have any intentions of doing either. You just love fantasizing with Snake mourning your death.” Ocelot stood up in front of him with his hands on his hips.

Kaz drew his gun and pointed it to the man beside him. “This is all your fault. Snake could have killed her, and you allowed him to bring her here!” Kaz didn’t realize that he was shouting.

Ocelot threw himself onto him, pushing his back to the cold floor and sitting on his crotch. Smirking, drew one of his revolvers and pointed at him.  
“Still wanna play suicidal, Commander? It was Snake’s decision after all, if you need to point your gun at someone, point it at him.”

Kaz wiggled trying to free himself but Ocelot was pressing his thighs to his pelvis, not letting him escape. He then leaned forward, slightly brushing their faces together. Kaz could feel his scent, it was intoxicating and he hated that. Hated everything related to the russian.

Ocelot grabbed Kaz gun, unloaded it and placed it on the floor.

“I won’t let you be by yourself tonight Miller, you are too dangerous with your suicidal thoughts and murderous fantasies.” He got up and lend a hand to the younger man to help him stand up but the commander pushed him away and slowly stood up.

“I don’t need anything from you.” He tried to sound mad, but he was tired.

“If you let your romantic emotions take over you, there’ll be no room for your revenge. Keep that in mind.” Ocelot gave him a concerned look while he studied him, deliberating if it was a good idea to leave him alone or not.

 

Kaz’s expression softened and he stared at Ocelot. Then he removed his sunglasses and Ocelot shivered. It was difficult to keep eye contact with such eyes staring at him.

“How do you do it then? Tell me Ocelot.” For the first time, he was showing his raw emotions to him.

Ocelot hesitated, he never openly talked about his feelings with anyone, but somehow, he understood what Miller was going through. The feeling of seeing the love of his life leaving him to make a fresh start in Costa Rica with a dumb blonde for commander, and now, leaving both of them for a mysterious woman who doesn’t even speak. Seeing Kazuhira Miller baring his emotions, coming undone before him was really worth watching.

“I fake my emotions. You should try it too.” His face was emotionless, cold. A high contrast to Kaz’s face, which showed his feelings like an open book.

“How can you live like this?”

“Some things can’t be helped, Miller.” He whispered, still emotionless.

“You are kidding me? Are you a fucking monster? Like, do you even care?” Kaz was shouting at him again, grabbing his scarf.

Ocelot’s mask fell, he needed release just like Miller. He frowned and pushed the commander hard to the steel wall with such force that his crutch and beret fell to the floor. He kissed him and Kaz tried to push him away, his milky eyes widening in surprise, but Ocelot gripped his jaw forcing him to open his mouth and forcing his tongue inside. Kaz resisted, his body trying to push him away but at this moment Ocelot was stronger and angrier than Kaz.

Kaz tried to fight back the tears that were running through his face but decided to surrender to the kiss. If he could just imagine it was Snake… But thinking about him hurted. Thinking that he must be kissing that woman now, it broke his heart. He opened his eyes and saw the man he had in front of him, his usual cold eyes were now softer and his pale skin was flushed.

Kaz kissed him again, this time both could taste each other and explore this new sensation. It has been so long since they ever had any type of physical contact, and they were both stubborn enough to not sleep with some random guy. Nevertheless, feeling that they both shared this obsessive infatuation for Big Boss brought them together. Yes, definitely no one else (Not even Snake, who seemed to be oblivious to both their feelings) could possibly understand.  
He felt the older man removing his tie, exposing his neck and biting it.

 

Ocelot was the first one to go on his knees, to Kaz’s surprise. He quickly unzipped his pants and started to suck him.

“I don’t care if you say his name” managed to say while wrapping his fingers and mouth into Kaz’s dick.

“Ocelot, what the fuck-” he tried to push Ocelot away but felt pinned and trapped. He closed his eyes and let himself be, grabbing his partner’s head and entangling his fingers on his silver hair.

 

It’s been so long since he had someone between his legs than he had forgotten how good it felt. Even if the man between his legs was Revolver Fucking Ocelot. But he had to admit that the man did know what he was doing and wondered if he used to do this to Big Boss as well. It was kind of unbearable, to fight his moans, but it was as if he’d explode in any moment, Ocelot was sucking him with such a skill that his knees started to tremble.

He felt then Ocelot removing his warmth from his dick and standing up, looking straight into his eyes. Kaz could not speak, he just stared at him with a mix of arousal, repulsion and desire, all those emotions written on his face.  
Ocelot unzipped his fly and took his cock out, then removed his glove and put his fingers on Kaz’s mouth, who instinctively began sucking. “You don’t have to look at me if you hate me, just close your eyes and imagine I’m him. I don’t care, I just want to fuck you.” He stated his intentions with a low and husky voice, seducing the younger man with both his voice and his icy eyes.

Ocelot removed his wet hand from his mouth and stroked his cock while he placed hard kisses on Kaz’s neck “d-don’t leave me marks”

“Do you really think he’ll give a fuck? Don’t make me laugh.” He smiled and bit him harder, then sucked him leaving hickeys on all his collarbone and neck. He then grabbed Kaz and pushed him over the dark corridor, it was full of boxes containing guns. He placed Kaz over one of them and removed his pants and boxers in one pull.

Kaz tried to resist but Ocelot caught his waist and put a wet finger on his entrance.  
“I need this, we both need this. Stop fighting.”

 

He was right, thought Kaz. They were just two men dealing with raw desire. No sweet words, no romance and definitely not love, just sex.

 

Kaz clinged to his neck and nodded. He let himself be fucked by Ocelot’s fingers, at least the man had the decency to prepare him first. Once he was wet and relaxed enough, he felt Ocelot kissing him softly, licking his lips first and then shoving his tongue inside, fucking his mouth. He felt a sharp pain and he felt full, Ocelot was now entering him and pushing deeper, while he kissed him. Kaz moaned into the kiss and bit Ocelot’s tongue, tasting now a mixture of metallic and sweetness which surprised him.

Ocelot broke the kiss and hide his face in Kaz’s neck, moaning and panting hard. Kaz pressed his own hand on his mouth to avoid screaming. The sensation was overwhelming, he tried to picture Snake but the man fucking him was so different that it was hard. He concentrated himself and remembered when he and Snake used to sneak at night and fuck where no one could see them. He was used to restrain himself from moaning aloud, the fear of being caught had always been his kink.

 

“B-boss…” it just slipped, he needed it.

The other man stopped from a moment and looked at him, Kaz was ashamed. Ocelot simply kissed his neck and continued pushing. “It’s okay, I told you. Fake it like you love me .”

He pushed harder and Kaz whimpered loud, then he pressed his mouth against Ocelot’s neck feeling ashamed. He was pushing his prostate and jerking him off, it was the best sex he had in years.  
“You are so hard Miller, it makes me want to come inside you.”

  
“Ocelot….”  
Something was wrong, he had just said his name, he didn’t seem to care, thought Kaz. After all. It didn’t matter anymore,

“Please… Come inside me.” Kaz felt like a whore, but he was having such a good time that he didn’t want to stop.

“Yes, so needy Miller. I’ll give you what you want.” Ocelot smirked and kissed him while Kaz moaned in his mouth, coming into the Russian’s hand. After a few thrusts, Ocelot too, came inside Kaz, gripping his hold on him and biting him.

Both were panting and breathing hard, but were evading looking at each other, busy inside their heads, trying to solve the new conflict and how to deal with this imminent aftermath.

 

  
Ocelot removed himself from Kaz and cleaned them with a handkerchief. “What do you say , should I keep it like this or wash it?”  
There was a playful smile on his face while he showed Kaz the handkerchief with his own cum.

“You are sick Ocelot.”

Both laughed and then reality hit them.

“I better go, tomorrow I’ll have to deal with the Quiet situation, if she’s that injured she can’t be on the field with the Boss.” Kaz shifted his mood to the workaholic commander.

“I still mean what I said earlier Miller.” Ocelot reminded him while helping him with his red tie.

“You said a lot of bullshit tonight.” Kaz was beginning to be grumpy again.

“I won’t let you be alone tonight. You are sleeping with me.” Ocelot’s words were not a proposal, but an order.

They walked slowly, Kaz of course was rather tired and not to mention that his ass hurted like hell, but he smiled at himself.

“Can you walk ? You were not expecting my outstanding performance, were you?”

“Very funny Ocelot. Next time first buy me a drink at least.”  
Ocelot chuckled and stole another kiss from him before they both entered his room.

Ocelot, that son of a bitch was right. Some things couldn’t be helped.

 


End file.
